little reminders

An Empty Space

2012-01-30T14:14:00.002+08:00

This is just an empty space
Where you and I
First met in the glades
This is just an empty space
Where he and she
Left their pasts erased

Will I find you here?
Will they find Me near?

This is just an empty space
For her to find
The hope she's lost
This is just an empty space
For him to know
He is not alone

Will I find you here?
Will they find Me near?

This is just an empty space
Will I find you here?
Will you find Me near?
I will hold you dear.

99 Roses

2012-01-27T11:56:00.003+08:00

He once bought 99 roses.
She once bought 50 roses.
They bought roses to demonstrate love.

She first watched him.
Then he watched her.
Soundlessly now, they watch each other.

Dare I Let You Go

2012-01-19T20:59:00.003+08:00

[verse 1]

We've stretched endlessly on
Tracks in the dusty, dry ground
Our guitars are cracked
With too much tension
The strings have snapped
From words unspoken

[chorus]
Is it me and my fragile ego?
Is it you tryn'a be a hero?
Is one chapter closing, another beginning?
I've packed my bags and so have you
But dare I let you go?
Dare I let you go?

[verse 2]
We've run out of fuel
Car stranded, static radio
There's green land ahead
A restful pasture
Trees offering shade
A hopeful future

[chorus]
Is it me and my fragile ego?
Is it you tryn'a be a hero?
Is one chapter closing, another beginning?
I've packed my bags and so have you
But dare I let you go?
Dare I let you go?

[bridge]
How long are we gonna bounce around
Our merry little pretense?
How long will it take for you, for me
To tear down our defences?

[chorus]
Is it me and my fragile ego?
Is it you tryn'a be a hero?
Is one chapter closing, another beginning?
I've packed my bags and so have you
But dare I let you go?
Dare I let you go?
Dare I let you go?

One-Horse Cowboy WIP

2012-01-02T23:34:00.009+08:00

He's a one-time sailor with a holey sail
A cataclysmic cyclone with an iron will
He says, "Take to the seas and never look back,
It's a one-time journey that you'll never forget.
What are you waiting for?
Oh, what are you waiting for?"

She's a fireball gypsy with beads in her hair
A laughing child with Esmeralda flair
She says, "Ride the rolling hills, tame the wild,
Smell the roadside roses, let out a smile.
What are you waiting for?
Oh, what are you waiting for?"

He's a passive rebel with a painter's hand
A quiet observer too shy of his heartland
He says, "I'm not a one-horse cowboy whooping freedom,
I'm just two eyes dreaming visual poems.
I'm too afraid to go
Oh, I'm too afraid to go."

She's a recalcitrant starlet in her mind
An illusionist of unfounded headlines
She says, "I'm just a village girl with dreams in a pack;
Got a road to hit but I'm looking back.
I'm too afraid to go
Oh, I'm too afraid to go."

"I'm just a village girl with my dreams in a pack;
Got a road to hit but I'm looking back.
I'm too afraid to go
Oh, I'm too afraid to go."

time to go

2011-12-04T01:24:00.003+08:00

http://behindtheseblueeyes.deviantart.com/

once upon a time i was falling in love
now i'm only falling apart
there's nothing i can do
a total eclipse of the heart
-Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler

i do not embrace my feminity enough

2011-11-14T13:34:00.001+08:00

from http://jaimeibarra.deviantart.com/

2011-10-11T11:44:00.001+08:00

http://svitakovaeva.deviantart.com/

What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
-Blessings, Laura Story

2011-10-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

i don't draw as much as i want to.

2011-09-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

2011-09-03T13:31:00.005+08:00

image stolen off google

Schechner Moment, or The Descent Into Darkness

Born to a Prince of Darkness himself, the Hunted would find himself forced into the dungeon from which will begin his descent into darkness. From the moment his consciousness awakes, his eyes would only see Hell. He would be tormented until he determines to rise from the ashes with reckless abandon and crush his tormentors within his fist. Because the slave has nothing to lose.

With that one victory, the Hunted will pursue his destiny and chain himself to the Darkness he came from. He will rise from the Hunted into a hunter as he realises that the world fears his torment. Thus begins his prime when he torments the world as he so will to taste the ultimate power of the world quaking on its knees. Having never seen the Light, he will find his freedom in an equally tormented Other.

That one taste of freedom, of Light, leaves him breathless and in thirsting for it, attempts to break free of his chains. He would carve his own path, soaked in blood, to attain that freedom, to see that Light once more, and for a time, will succeed in fleeing the Darkness he had grown so accustomed to.

But as his life wanes, he finds that he will have to battle the Darkness once more. It is persistent, always clawing back like a hungry animal. There is no escape. He is still chained. But this time, there will be no more running. No more hiding.

It is the same darkness that consumed Lady Virginia and Sir Ernest.

2011-01-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

Under the white clouds, the snow is falling.

You can't see the white clouds, or the snow.

Or the cold, or the white glow of the earth.

A solitary man glides downhill on his skis.

The snow is falling.

It falls until the man disappears into the landscape.

My friend Serge, who's one of my oldest friends, has bought a painting.

It's a canvas about five foot by four.

It represents a man who moves across a space and disappears.

-Art, Yasmina Reza

2011-01-13T22:38:00.005+08:00

http://johnprosser.deviantart.com/art/travel-79553284

This is my temporary home

It's not where I belong

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through

This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going

I'm not afraid because I know

This is my temporary home

-Temporary Home, Carrie Underwood

2011-01-01T17:40:00.001+08:00

hello 2011.

2010-11-05T15:36:00.004+08:00

http://sinfuleyes.deviantart.com/art/Content-With-Silence-76690028

"It is a curious thing...

but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it.

Those who...have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must,

and find to their surprise that they wear it well."

- Albus Dumbledore

2010-10-14T22:42:00.002+08:00

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=music#/dtysed

i found her.

2010-10-01T08:44:00.004+08:00

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=dream&order=9&offset=48#/ds4ewx

what is beauty
if not for the emo teenager skulking up the sidewalk
or the baby handprints on the windowpane
or the hyperactive puppy barking welcome

what is beauty
if not for the hand-sewn dresses hanging in the closet
or the dusty shoes long forgotten under the staircase
or the squeaky fan humming its own out-of-tune song

what is beauty
if not for the occasional wind that drops by to say hi
or the purple glories that bloom in the morning
or the splash of shoes in the puddle of midday rain

what is beauty
if not for the hard-found silence amidst the noise
or the quiet lullabye that hushes the weary asleep
or the tap-tap-tap of a writer's imagination...

2010-09-28T09:22:00.005+08:00

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=rosary#/dig48s

Pie Iesu Domine,

dona eis requiem.

Amen.

2010-09-17T01:36:00.001+08:00

http://frostewings.deviantart.com/

i ran out of pretty words

2010-08-25T22:24:00.004+08:00

RESTLESS

http://antoanette.deviantart.com/

2010-08-07T00:52:00.006+08:00

perhaps, someday

i will write again.

but for now

there's apocalyptica, nightwish and e nomine.

my music taste is changing drastically.

or is it?

well, not really.

unless you mean e nomine lah.

for now:

http://braq.deviantart.com/art/ALONE-99770414

being alone is not a bad thing.

oh, by the way, the thing about videos 2 posts down? nuh-uh. no videos.

2010-07-28T22:03:00.001+08:00

how do you keep the faith?

http://fraughtuk.deviantart.com/

2010-07-14T18:46:00.010+08:00

note: new blogskin works best on IE but is workable in Firefox as well. don't know about Google Chrome or Safari or whatnot.

so! fa-mi-re-do.

finals are over and the holidays are here!
updates!

this is what got the ju through some of the stress:

stolen off the google image search machine.

according to a certain nerd, the above is hungarian.

and of course, mini excursions to help inspire the rock-bottom grey matter:

homegrown space: empowering the local arts.

there, Eternal Revolution performed alongside Tabitha:

that's matt-matt on the drums!

and there was this canggih-maggih graffitisied wall opposite the performance area:

i don't have bigger picture, but it's very nice lah. printed on pvc, i believe. yeeeeesss...shoulda just been real wall huh.

and guess what the ju found!!!

booyah, baby!

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet~

and here comes the boring excerpts on what the ju has been up to:

supper canggih-manggih looking words and graphics, aye, for performance studies.

the video shall come later, if you have the patience to sit through 17 excruciating minutes of theorising things that you probably wouldn't understand unless you've read "Performance Studies: An Introduction" by Richard Schechner. oh mai. i can still spell his name. ugh.

and then:

a mood board for production design

that eventually led to this:

set design created by yours truly with the help of ... group mates.

mmhmm.

and ah,

there was modern theatre and the final paper i wrote at 4am which was due later that same day. pwnage.

and there was audio-visual post-production where we had to make a trailer off a movie, making it a different genre with a different story. more pwnage. video to follow when i can locate it.

and there was acting&text. speechless. it was fun. again, video to follow when it is upload-able by youtube. although, a note of caution: be cautious? nevermind. can't explain it. just that...how to say this. disclaimer: actor and character are separate entities/sentient beings. what the character does may not be what the actor does in his personal life. itu lah.

*grumbles something about holiness and spirituality in acting*

mhmm! so it comes to an end for the day. voila!

click-clack blaow

2010-06-20T19:53:00.005+08:00

http://barl1992.deviantart.com/

hah. such delusions.

i'll be watching

2010-06-10T00:09:00.005+08:00

http://omen2501.deviantart.com/

despite being a "bloody venomous bitch"

maybe there's a soft spot somewhere

let go and let God

2010-06-02T14:31:00.006+08:00

http://pinkparis1233.deviantart.com

strangely hollow

2010-05-27T20:17:00.004+08:00

http://supergrass.deviantart.com

who are you, taking coffee, no sugar?

who are you, echoing street signs?

who are you, the stranger in the shell of a lover?

dark curtains drawn by the passage of time?

-recessional, Vienna Teng

still good

2010-05-14T18:04:00.002+08:00

Its Alright, It's Okay

2010-05-08T13:10:00.004+08:00

You told me there's no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed

And slowly I took your words
No looking back I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say

It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, Ok
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say I wont return
Our bridge has burnt down
I'm stronger now
Alright , Ok
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrayed a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

Don't waste you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's way to late
I'm closing the door

stop the world

2010-05-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

http://wchild.deviantart.com/art/Ounce-of-pain-162801065

stuck - Stacie Orrico

2010-04-24T21:53:00.007+08:00

perhaps something coherent would take the place of these scavenged images.

i ain't trippin'

i'm just missing you

every now and then when i'm all alone

i'd be wishing you would call me on the telephone

i can't stop thinking of you

it's true

i'm stuck on you

i am a disaster

2010-04-14T20:59:00.002+08:00

http://freakyeye.deviantart.com/art/destroyed-city-141314905

daffodil

2010-04-10T17:31:00.001+08:00

For Daphne.

PS7/Bamboo/4 hours

TRY

2010-04-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

http://donia.deviantart.com/

"when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile."

-charmaine cym

i know you can smile through the pain

and come out more beautiful.

just try.

The Strive for Perfection is Futile

2010-03-30T23:26:00.004+08:00

http://connieleeann.deviantart.com/art/perfectionist-154413349

Nothing will ever be perfect. Complete a masterpiece, come back 5 days later and look at it again. Much tinkering later, it looks perfect. Come back 5 days later, look at it, and get back to tinkering. And the cycle goes on. There is no perfection to strive for. There's always something better. You can go on and on and on, round and round and round, and end up dying nowhere closer to the perfection you strive for.

The beauty of being human lies in imperfections.

KELANTAN

2010-03-26T17:48:00.014+08:00

warning: long picture-post ahead. approach at own risk.

...

14th March 2010. 6.30p.m.

all ready to go.

ooh! floweeerr~~

5 hours later:

this is what boredom does to us.

so, the story goes that the bus driver was stuck in India learning Bayanaratnam (or however you spell it) and never made it. we made that up.

after having 95% of the trip cancelled, the mom of the class, Barbara a.k.a Boss, managed to find another bus company willing to supply (for lack of a better word) 2 bus drivers to drive us to Kelantan and everywhere else we need to go. we provide food and lodging for them.

15 March 2010.

the wheels on the bus go round and round~

approximately 9-10 hours later:

we arrived in Kota Bahru!

dinner.

ooh! kitty!

his name is Kitten. he has a brother named Bob. and an evil mother.

meet Eddin Khoo. the big-shot poet, journalist, translator, writer, custodian of traditional Malaysian art forms and founder of PUSAKA who sleeps maximum 4 hours a night and is a self-confessed bastard of indian-chinese descent.

Eddin briefing us in the bus about what to look for in the upcoming performance.

and here we are. a little Malay village.

as you can see, the set up stalls selling food, drinks and such for the spectators. traditional Malaysian art forms are very...casual. you can walk in and out and everywhere anytime you want. you can thrown popcorn at the performers if you're obnoxious, and if you find it boring, just go home.

gelanggang "main puteri".

this is the "stage" where the performance will be held. the "main puteri" is a shamanistic healing ritual. the "Tok Puteri" interrogates the patient to find out what is causing his/her illness. then the "Tok Puteri" finds a way to cure it. note that their illnesses are psychological.

the items and food that are consecrated for the ritual. no, the food aren't eaten.

the performers are Muslim, and always pray before the beginning of a performance.

Tok Puteri.

the "gendang" player on the right is one of the greatest and most famous traditional drummer. he switches drums throughout the performance.

the "serunai" player.

the "serunai" holds the power to either attract or repel the listener. eitherways, it's a crucial instrument in almost all traditional art forms. its power is to disturb the spirits of illnesses so that they will speak and tell the bomoh/shaman what the problem is.

note that a bomoh is not some old man who practises black magic. it means "medicine man".

the "rebab" player.

this guy is 67 years old and has been playing the "rebab" since he was 16. he is self-taught and made the "rebab" he is using. the "rebab" is made of wood and bull hide. the strings are cheap guitar strings purchased from cheap chinese stores. the strings have to be cheap and "cheh-kai" to be able to produce the correct tone and sound. proper steel guitar strings are bad.

"rebab".

did i mention i wanna learn this instrument and it produces the most exotic and incredible sound ever? the player told me if i wanted to learn, i'll just have to stay there and he can teach me.

=D

my roommate, Ju Er, and me.

this is us at 3a.m. after the "main puteri" performance (which lasted 3 hours but was NEVER boring), the journey back to the city, tomyam and roti canai.

apparently, i look SEXAY!!! xD

16 March 2010.

everyone slept in and met at 12p.m. for lunch.

the food is to DIE for. kopi susu, mutton, goat meat, fish, curry...

sidetrack: i found this stashed away in a quaint little corner of our shopping trip.

then we went to a Thai Buddhist temple.

self-explanatory.

after dinner, we headed off to watch:

wayang kulit

at:

yeeeah...

belakang gelanggang.

the whole performance lasted 2 hours, which is short. a normal performance would last from sun-down to sunrise the next day. the entire performance was conducted in the Kelantanese dialect, and i understood nothing. =D

male and female sit at opposite ends. except for us outsiders who sit on canvas sheets laid on the floor. the "dalang", the puppeteer, plays over 40 characters and their individual voices and conducts the orchestra at the same time. anytime he wants, he can take a break, go for a smoke and come back to continue. the "dalang" is a celebrity in Kelantan. true story.

Dalang Saupi, student to the late Dalang Pak Dollah Baju Merah.

taking down the stage.

17 March 2010.

no, we don't wanna leave. bai. =(

organising another trip to Kelantan sometime in July, with plans to get funding for everyone!

for more photos: http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=157265&id=784092625

I AM A MACHA

2010-03-11T20:37:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/popteevee

We are machas. We go to mamaks. We like hip-hop. So we made a music video. A really, really, really high-budget one (it features a Porsche, yo!).

Our Message is simple: "When in doubt - don't fight, don't destroy places of worship, don't cane people, don't say ridiculous stuff the rakyat is gonna make fun of in the internets. Just do the 'Macha-rena' and all will be well".

busy

2010-02-28T22:56:00.006+08:00

http://monislawa.deviantart.com

~~1. theatre project + chinese drums~~
~~2. eddin's final paper~~
~~3. bernarda alba, the musical~~
~~4. ibrahim hussein's exhibition~~
~~5. kelantan trip~~

...and then we repeat this all over again

p/s: no updates anytime soon.

SIX HUNDRED

2010-02-08T13:16:00.005+08:00

http://lipsxeyesxback.deviantart.com

there's nothing better than living for you, than saving my world with you

there's nothing better than praising your name and lifting my praise

i wanna spend forever standing in your presence

you are the everlasting god, the everlasting god

you do not faint, you won't grow weary

you're the defender of the weak, you comfort those in need

you lift us up on wings like eagles

through you i can do anything, i can do all things

cuz it's you who gives me strength

nothing is impossible

oh happy day, happy day, you washed my sin away

oh happy day, happy day, i'll never be the same

forever i am changed

FIFTEEN

2010-02-06T21:42:00.005+08:00

http://maxlu.deviantart.com

"cause when you're fifteen, and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them."

but when you're eighteen, you realise that you don't really know what love is.

cause when you're fifteen, you're living in your happy little world, being emo just because, and thinking you're always misunderstood.

but when you're eighteen, you realise the world's much bigger than you.

cause when you're fifteen, and you're with the coolest guy in school, you think nothing could be better.

but when you're eighteen, you realise it's the nerds and geeks who can give you a better future.

cause when you're fifteen, you think you're still at the age when you're allowed to make mistakes.

but when you're eighteen, you realise you gotta look before you leap.

"ignorance is not bliss; it's stupidity." -anne james

RESAH - Nitrus

2010-01-25T23:23:00.006+08:00

berapa lama harus aku tunggu

kata setuju kamu

kau biar aku menanti pilu

kau diam bisu buat aku keliru

mana tuju hatimu

usah biarku resah menunggu

raut wajahmu bisa ditelahku

kau masih belum tentu

apa ada rasa dalam hatimu

datang padaku cerita padaku

ungkapan rasa itu

apa saja buat hilang ragumu

sesungguh tak kau tahu

diriku ada kamu

akan ku relakan semua ada ku untuk mu

mungkin bila aku tahu

mungkin bisa kau temui jiwaku

usah biar terusan begitu

-x-x-x-

Resah aku. Menunggu. Selalu.

fish-WATER

2010-01-23T18:32:00.004+08:00

"you are not alone."

tell me that again

after you've been through the forbidden.

tell me that again

after you've found your freedom.

tell me that again

after you've found your love.

then maybe

(maybe)

i'll learn to believe.

I Like To Make Myself Believe

2010-01-18T20:09:00.008+08:00

...that planet Earth turns slowly.

but it doesn't, does it?
it doesn't freeze when you want it to.
it doesn't crash and burn either.

it just goes on and on and on.
you either turn with it,
or get left behind.

so where do we stand now, dearest?
do we remain in our placid sorrow?
or do we turn as others turn?

oh, come now. just let me sleep.

FOR ANDY-KOR, with love

2010-01-06T20:35:00.005+08:00

24 February 1988 - 3 January 2010

Andy kor, I miss you. I miss hearing your voice, I miss holding you when we hug, I miss rubbing your hairless head, I miss seeing the sparkle in your eyes, I miss your sunshine smile, I miss the way you say “Hey mui!”, I miss your chitty-chattiness, I miss the way your fingers are squashed together when you play “A” on the guitar; I just miss you so much. But I know we’ll meet up there, on the golden roads and the crystalline seas, at the banquet table where we’ll whack all the bak kut teh we can eat and not complain how fat we’ll get, at the golf field where you’ll finally teach me to play golf… It’s been wonderful, everything. I have nothing more to say but to thank you. Thank you for everything, kor.

p/s: I’m taking back a piece of my heart when we meet in Heaven.

Love Always,

Juju-mui

2010

2010-01-01T19:27:00.003+08:00

Here we go again.
Here we are again.
Here we hope again.

Let's hope this time
We don't screw things up
And that every "tommorow"
Simply gets better and brighter.

Here's to the undone, the unfulfilled, the unwritten, the unsung;
Here's to hope and a future.

FOR SHER-SHER, with love

2009-12-30T23:11:00.005+08:00

once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was ju. and at the other end of the world, there was sher. and somehow, by some bizarre or God-given chance, their worlds collided and now they're stuck together with no way out. nopedidoo, surgery ain't gonna help.

hi sher, this one's for you. because you asked for it. hee~ (and also because i think i've never dedicated a post to you before hor, even after like, 7 years. gomen.)

just for spite, i dedicate this picture to you:

eew, yuck, ugh. i saved this picture as "ugh". by the way, and i stole all the pics from facebook. cuz...i don't have any of you, or at least no solo shots of you. and the ugliness of us from yesterdays past have caught up with us. well, actually, no. what am i talking about. anyway. the point is, cuz you look soh pretty these days, i couldn't resist. :D

*melt* oh you. life's tough, dearie. troublesome, even. mean, ugly, yuck, eew, disgusting. but also sweet, chocolatey, syrupy, twinkle-sparklies; and if you view it and love it and embrace it enough, it's gonna be the most amazing experience. let everything be a lesson to groom you and teach you and make you stronger and more seasoned. sometimes, following your head is better than following your heart; that's wisdom. sometimes, following your heart is better than following your head, that's love. but at everytime, let God lead, let God do what He wants to do. He knows what's best. if you get lost along the way, don't worry, we're here to watch out for you and spank you back to the right track. all for love, baby. all for love. :D

and oh, you were always smarter to begin with. keep those wheels turning, and those nuts and bolts too. and sometimes when you start feeling stupid and think that you ain't good enough, take a break. chill. grab a nap. kit kat. milo. maggie mee. cry. breathe. pray for wisdom and strength. look up, and keep moving on. you're getting there, baby. all in good time. or, you could just think of juju and say, "i smarter than her. hah." :D

there's my future doctor. =)

we've been through much. hugs and loves, tears and fears, food and exams, toilets and cramps. it's made us much better now, hasn't it all? remember the doodles and unfinished stories. the tempers and boys. ahh. sweet youth that we threw away. or have we? at least, i know that when i look at you, i go all mushy and gooey inside, cuz i'm thinking to myself, "aww, my little baby's all grown up now. and still growing. eep."

for now, we're apart. maybe someday, we'll find each other again. oh wait, we will. we have to. you have to. or i'll smack you. :D

so yes, dearie. there's always ups and downs, in-s and out-s. but don't worry. you got 'em covered. cuz you've got more inside you than you think you do. and when you think you don't, you've got juju to complain to; you've got God to carry you through. don't worry, love. you're gonna be all right.

i'm being nostalgic tonight. shaddap.

i love you too. =)

2009-12-22T14:33:00.002+08:00

do you hate me?

after all we've been through, if it doesn't kill us, it'll make us stronger. but are we dying now? are we still fighting to live? are we still fighting for hope? or is there hope to live for anyway? is there gratification at the finish line? or more gravel road to bruise ourselves on?

like icicles, we drip, drip, drip...and wonder what comes after: a full blown ice sculpture, or residue sinking into the earth into nothingness..?

-x-x-x-

serenade me, baby, until i fall asleep and never wake, wrapped in the embrace of your music, refusing the call to life, living in my dreams and hopes and futures that might never be.

2009-12-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

look, same sky.

Talkies

2009-12-16T21:15:00.002+08:00

on some sad stretch of road to kampar

gabs: ah, this road got old uncle wind down the window, driving and smoking one.
ju: really?
gabs: yeah. this guy's one of them.

guy in the front car sticks his hand out of the window, cigarette dangling off his fingers.

-x-x-x-

on some sad stretch of road to utar

after FINALLY overtaking some turtle-paced-moving truck, a super long trailer cuts into our lane.

ju & gabs: waaah!!
ju: babi hutan ayam kunyit merah you pikir jalan ni you bapak punye ke...

beat.

ju & gabs: backside.

-x-x-x-

in some sad restaurant over lunch via sms

ju: you pay. ok? ok. good.
ma: no! so expensive! save the money.
ju: you pay half, we pay half. ok?
ma: split 3 ways.

ju & gabs: waahh!
gabs: your mother.
ju: stingy poker.

2009-12-09T20:33:00.004+08:00

i can't do this. can't keep living like this.

"if you run, you'll never stop running."

but sometimes, you get so tired of fighting

and hope that one day, you'll win.

2009-12-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

Final Video Project 2nd Semester
Sound & Image

Advisor: Au Sow Yee
Group: CD, Greg, Hanif, Jewel, King
Special Dedication: Albert See, Pauline Tan

Special Thanks:
Coke, 100 Plus, Macbook Pro, iMac,
and all miscellaneous items

Ending Music: "You Copy My Style" by Saykoji

i hate politicians

2009-12-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

but i love Juwita Suwito

and Joanne Yeoh

and my Honeybun

to: my dear virus-infested usb

2009-11-28T15:24:00.002+08:00

i really love you.

thanks for being with me for the many years with 2gb of memory. you probably think it's not much, and now i'll have to agree with you, but you've been enough for the previous years, so it's all well. yes, i did run out of memory and had to extract some of your innards, but you've been faithful and i cannot thank you more.

of late, you've been attracting some unwanted attention from trojan horse. it's not nice of you, really. but then again, i guess sooner or later you'd rebel after all the stuff i put you through. anyway, you went frolicking with trojan horse. i closed one eye cuz there weren't any damage done. but look what you did...you and trojan horse became best buddies and now i lost everything, most importantly being azmyl and raymond's work.

i'm sorry i have to do this to you, and it hurts me to strip you; but it must be done. for your sake, and mine. i'll be dumping you in bleach and cleaning you up. i'll lose all my hardwork and i'll have to start over; but it's okay. anything for the betterment of you and me. i hope you understand.

love always, juju.

2009-11-22T22:33:00.003+08:00

God will make a way

when there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will me my guide

hold me closely to His side

with love and strength for each new day

He will make a way

by the roadway in the wilderness

He leads me

and rivers in the desert

will i see

heaven and earth will fade

but His word will still remain

He will do something new today

so.

2009-11-14T11:24:00.003+08:00

so i went to mardigras.

God save my ears. i don't want to go back there.

-x-x-x-

so i went to mph book fair.

a random guy came up and asked "excuse me, are you mph?"

-x-x-x-

so i went to the toilet.

and came out with a half-baked song and diarrohea.

2009-11-09T10:31:00.001+08:00

We're still crazy, we're just not as crazy as they thought.

-Pastor Gerry Stoltzfoos, Freedom Valley Worship Center

2009-11-07T21:53:00.003+08:00

alright, look.

please stop comparing miley cyrus to kelly clarkson, boys like girls to my chemical romance, akon to nikon, alfred hitchcock to yasmin ahmad, van gogh to tetsuya nomura... it's not fair and it just doesn't do them justice.

they're all talented artists in their own field. (okay, maybe not akon, because i'm biased like that.) they're different individuals with different views and perceptions, different styles and moods, different inspiration and influences, different likes and dislikes, different EVERYTHING. so shaddap about who's better than who, who sounds better than who etc. etc.

it's not fair for any one of them. they're all artists. and artists don't like being compared to other artists, simply because of the reasons stated above. so shut your trap the next time you wanna compare johnny depp to hugh jackman, and THINK first. be nice.

MY BEST FRIEND

2009-11-07T17:31:00.002+08:00

An original composition.
Lyrics and Music (c) Kevin Kei and Shah Shaha.

I am all alone in the summer
Picking girls in clubs that stretch from one to ten floors
Or dancing on some dirty dancefloor
You, where have you been
Cuz I'm just waitin'
For you, my friend, my son of a gun
Don't you dare have some fun without me

There is nothing more than I can do
Unless you're beside me
You're the one that makes me like a dude
Don't get me wrong
Cuz you have been there
You've faced everything
You're my wing-man
So dude, you're my best friend

Just scream for the best of times
Lets shout out for the girl that's right before us
That's what we used to do
Maybe we could dance around in parties
And do the macarena
I know it's just crazy

Please don't forget me
When you come back
Just come to see me
Remember I am your best friend
Your partner in crime
Lets hope we meet again

FAIRYDUST

2009-11-07T17:07:00.005+08:00

An original composition.
Lyrics and Music (c) Jewel Yip

Verse:

We'd fall in love again and again
With melodies of spring our refrain
We'd dance and twirl 'neath the moonlight
Fairydust and twinkle-stars amidst our flight

Pre-Chorus:
So dance, love, dance
We have time forever
Living in this trance

Chorus:
You're my enchantment
My hope and detriment
You're the softness of dew
Rending my dreams untrue
You have broke my fragile psyche
You are everything to me

Bridge:
After all that we've done
After all we've been through
After all the pain and joy

2009-10-31T16:33:00.002+08:00

all parents damage their children...parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. they move on. they move away.

-Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

2009-10-26T19:44:00.005+08:00

the 2 insane days are over

the shoot was a success

and i praise God for strength and endurance

something to remember it by:

production coordinator

-x-x-x-

i believe in God

i believe in the Big Bang

i believe in Faith and Hope

i believe in Strength and Independance

i believe in Living once, and making the Best of it

how about

believing in Salvation and Grace?

2009-10-19T23:30:00.003+08:00

talk to me.

who is to blame?

the one who refuses to give in? OR

the one who refuses to take "no" for an answer?

but Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself in this way. -Daniel 1:8

2009-10-17T22:39:00.005+08:00

[edit:]

starkle, starkle, little twink,

who the hell are you i think.

i'm not under what you call

the alcofluence of incahol.

i'm just a little slort on sheep,

i'm not drunk like thinkle peep.

i don't know who is me yet,

but the drunker i stand here the longer i get.

so just give me one more fink to drill my cup,

'cause i got all day sober to Sunday up.

-Deric Tan

-x-x-x-

The cycle is inevitable. People are always inventing, progressing, reaching for something more. But in the wake of success, is a trail of machines, both literal and metaphorical. In the end, everyone is a machine for someone else's success story. Your supervisor is controlled by someone else, who is controlled by someone else, who is controlled by someone else. Even Barack Obama is controlled by the "machines" whose votes keep him on the presidential seat.

-x-x-x-

UMNO has always practised a policy of being inclusive and can never be accused of being a racist party.

Bull.

-x-x-x-

until i think of something else to say, bye.

2009-10-12T23:28:00.003+08:00

can i do that to you?

don't la. i might die if you do that...or break a neck...

catch me...

i'll catch you for sure...but i can't guarantee that you'll be okay...i'm not sure that i'll be okay too...

only for 18+ readings

2009-10-10T12:18:00.003+08:00

EHH EHH. YOU NEVER READ THE TITLE AR? I SAY ONLY 18+ CAN READ. YOU SMALL CIKU-S... GO STUDY. SHOO.

underwear-shopping evolution

(you need an account to read this)

terjatuh dalam longkang emo-ness

2009-10-03T20:46:00.006+08:00

aku tak nak tunggu lagi

another summer day has come and gone away

in Paris and Rome, i wanna go home

maybe surrounded by a million people i

still feel all alone, i just wanna go home

oh, i miss you, you know

and I've been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you

each one a line or two, i'm fine, baby, how are you?

well, i would send them but i know that it's just not enough

my words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that

another airplane, another sunny place i'm lucky i know

but i wanna go home, i've got to go home

and i feel just like i'm living someone else's life

it's like i just stepped outside when everything was going right

and i know just why you could not come along with me

'cause this was not your dream, but you always believed in me

another winter day has come and gone away

in neither Paris nor Rome and i wanna go home

i miss you, you know

muka tebal

2009-09-28T16:55:00.003+08:00

was browsing through stuffs. and realised: i haven't been writing anything coherent. i'd go back to my archives and search for the last time i wrote something proper, but i'm too lazy to. so i'm left wondering where all the juices went. i used to have much to say, but now...it's as though i've mellowed down. or swallowed back everything. or maybe because blogging has become less personal than when it first begun. now you're aware of people reading. now you're aware that any wrong word can cause people to stumble. now you're aware that people judge you by the way you write, the way you think.

then, what's the point?

freedom of speech. self-expression. bullshit.

oh look. i'm gonna have to censor that too.

figures why i have nothing left to say these days.

bye.

2009-09-27T22:51:00.001+08:00

one word:

EPIC.

2009-09-23T11:46:00.003+08:00

uploading from college.

i miss you-s.

*hugs*

shall i ask you to come back soon?

2009-09-16T20:44:00.002+08:00

i lie on the bed in the dark

and think.

so many facets.

so many intricate layers,

carefully built and connected;

break the wrong one

and everything falls apart.

so complicated.

so delicate.

a journey of self-discovery.

i talk aimlessly to myself

and whoever who bothers.

but it's not aimless,

not really.

because in there,

i find myself.

reverend

2009-09-15T00:45:00.004+08:00

to be dead honest,

i don't know what to feel.

yes, okay.

congratulations.

you're promoted.

and with it comes more responsibilities.

but i don't know

if i can take on those responsibilities too.

you wouldn't understand.

sometimes

you don't realise

but we share that responsibility.

we cover up for whatever needs to be protected.

it's not that easy.

it's not that simple.

masks

2009-09-08T19:17:00.003+08:00

was supposed to catch a half-hour nap before launching into rehearsals.

but there was too much on my mind,
too many jumbling thoughts
leaping one over the other and onto each other
into a tangle of nerves, memories and experiences.

we did the mask exercise in anne's class today.
each one was to pick a mask
(choose the one that speaks to you),
an object and a piece of clothing.
then,
fall into character.

but throughout the entire exercise,
ju drew into herself and watched from her deepest faculties
while the character hijacked the body and became whatever it wanted to be.

from a point of view,
yes it is freaky to completely lose control and let your character take over.
you still need to be in control of your actions.

but from another point of view,
the mask is a barrier of detachment.
it can be your security
and your one chance to be yourself without being subject to judgement.

therefore:
could it be that while being behind the mask
you are actually yourself,
and when the mask comes off
you are no longer who you really are
but who you want others to see you as?

after all
everyone wears elaborate layers of masks;
masks that fit into a certain circle of friends,
or a certain situation that calls for a certain action,
or to protect their true self from what everyone expects of them.

every character expressed from the mask
is a little part of you,
drawn from past experiences and memories;
insignificant details that make you whole,
amplified into a specific character.
some characters may be easy to identify
while others take a longer time to be identified
and connected with the actor.

but that's what makes acting so fun.
it is a process of discovery
as you dig deeper and deeper and deeper,
and uncover treasures you never thought existed.
but they're all there
.
.
.
inside your subconscious.

2009-09-07T11:03:00.004+08:00

"I want you to dig deep...peel back the layers..."

-Raymond Miranda

i think
i might've figured out the source of all this anger and hate,
and perhaps the rebellion.

but now i know--
i am the troublemaker
even though i thought i was not.

that's okay.
that explains a lot,
and gives me more reason to make more trouble.
after all, i'm already in deep shit.
so what? what difference would it make?

2009-08-31T19:38:00.007+08:00

but flowers die!

yeaaah..? so?

i love flowers.

i love it when they flaunt their radiant cloaks of colour.

i love it when they wave a greeting to every passerby.

i love it when they yawn goodnight as the moon rises.

i love it when they smile at you as though there's nothing else in the world that could possibly go wrong.

they make life so beautiful in a shit ass world.

so it's valentine's day and he surprises you with a bouquet of roses.

it's beautiful. you love it. you keep it in a vase.

three days later, it's dead.

a symbol of life.

first it begins--

green and young with the promise of something extraodinary.

then it reaches its peak and bursts into resplendant glory.

then it wilts...and falls away...

and then what?

they should watch every sunrise and sunset;

they should feel every breeze and every rain...

...not dying in a vase.

but he wouldn't listen anyway.

he'd buy another rose.

and another.

2009-08-30T18:00:00.001+08:00

suffice to say

it's one of the hardest things i'm going through

so if you could spare this emo-kid a minute or two

please pray

2009-08-26T20:21:00.002+08:00

sometimes it's hard to belive.

sometimes it's too hard to go on anymore.

sometimes you just wanna give up and walk away.

life is too troublesome.

if everyone would just be happy and free...

but that's what we all look for,

don't we?

we hope for a better place

of peace and serenity,

where there aren't monsters of cockroaches

and clowns that rip off people's faces.

and still we hope.

but what if you get tired of hoping?

what else is there to look forward to?

-x-x-x-

and in the end you find out

that all the achievements before didn't matter.

-x-x-x-

i miss you.

2009-08-13T00:41:00.005+08:00

it would be a lie to say

i'm not missing you.

-x-x-x-

distant lights dot the sky

i breathe in the night air

and wonder

so.

this is what it comes to.

2009-08-03T19:23:00.004+08:00

101.

I like driving in silence. Sometimes I reach over to turn on the radio, but stop midway. I don't find the silence awkward. I enjoy it, embrace it. Perhaps it's a personal belief that sometimes, there is no place for words, and that silence is music in itself.

I find my thoughts drifting to odd places; what was, what should be, what can be, what may never be... Laughable, sometimes. But oddly satisfying. I don't need to spill my thoughts simply because it has already been released into the silence.

And there it remains. And there, live.

102.

I've identified two contributing factors as to why I don't like playing the violin.

a. my violin sucks. it sounds bad. it's not even full 4/4 size.
b. my teacher is a jack***. his cynism isn't working on me.

103.

Pet peeve. I hate slow drivers who drive as though they own the world. If you know you're slow, move over to the left lane. Impatient people like me have better stuff to do than hog the road. So if I hit you, I'm arguing that you were crawling on an 80kmph road. Not my fault I was driving at 100.

104.

I lost that thought.

2009-07-29T11:38:00.004+08:00

i happen to have a mind of my own

and an insatiable thirst for freedom

get used to it.

"come home now and sulk!"

2009-07-26T19:31:00.003+08:00

Jehovah Jireh, my provider
His grace is sufficient for me
My God shall supply all my needs
According to His riches in glory
He will give His angels charge over me
Jehovah Jireh cares for me

2009-07-22T23:22:00.005+08:00

http://cerebralcortex.deviantart.com/

if trust snaps so easily

i'd rather not trust again

don't try to figure me out

i don't like it

rest your troubled soul, dearest

tomorrow will be a brighter day

or will it?

2009-07-14T12:30:00.000+08:00

i never realised i grew up

i never realised i'm eighteen

until now

wow

when too much Greek chorus gets to your head...

2009-07-08T17:52:00.004+08:00

Agamemnon by Aeschylus

-Ten years, ten cold years
Since the two sons of Atreus
Sailed with their thousand ships
To claim the debt from Priam.
-The best men are all dead.
-I could weep at what has happened
Here at home in this house.
-Since it was a great palace.
-Now if walls had words...

But you all understand me.

[Triumphant music. Enter Agamemnon...]

-Now son of Atreus,
You have conquered Troy.
-How shall we greet you?
-How can we give you honour?
-We want to be just.
We will not flatter you.
-Yet we will not fall short
In showing our loyalty.
-A wise king can tell
When someone is flattering him,
So I'll not hide from you
That ten years ago
We thought it evil
When you sacrificed your daughter.

-But that is in the past.
-You have won the war.
-And so we welcome you
From the bottom of our hearrts.
-You will soon learn
Which of your people here
Have been loyal to you
And which have played you false.

2009-07-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

The Trojan Women by Euripides

It's all so far away.

Argos...the Islands...Sparta...

They'll make us slaves in Greece.
-And whores. -I love the night.
But now I fear and curse her:
To be in one of their beds...

I know where I'd like to go:
Athens. It's a wonderful city.
-The best. -What about Sparta?

I pity anyone that gets sent to Sparta.
Helen lived there. I hate her.

I once went to Greece:
It was a long time ago,
A great house at the foot of Olympus,
You know, the holy mountain.
That was a beautiful place.
No one was poor or hungry:
It was so warm, so fertile.

Perhaps we shall sail past Greece
Westwards to Africa.

They say it never rains there
And the earth has turned to sand.

Yes, and there's Sicily.
The mountains are so cool.
It's all covered with forests,
And down in the plains below
The grass grows above your waist.

Are the people kind in Sicily?

I think they would welcome us.

If you wash your hair in the rivers
It comes out dusted with gold.

I always wanted golden hair.

[Enter Talthybius and soldiers.]

Look, there's Talthybius.
-Where are you going to take us?
-Thebes? -Thessaly? -Athens?
-Argos? -Sparta? -Mycenae?

Who do I go to?

Is mine a good place? Are we going together?
When do we leave?
Tell me..! Tell me!

2009-06-30T21:34:00.001+08:00

HIATUS

i'm gonna die. i'm dying. i'm dead.

NOOO!!! GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!

2009-06-27T18:26:00.002+08:00

i haven't watched it, but i'm already obssessed over this film. blame the book, and the brilliance behind it: patrick suskind. and simon rattle and the berlin philharmonic orchestra. i haven't watched it, but i already know the colour and mood and how it's been presented to audiences worldwide. the power of music; and the beautiful beautiful beautiful soundtrack. but i cringe as i listen to a sneaky sound; i see who it is, i see where he is creeping, i watch him as he watches her, i know what he's going to do next...... listen. i am left breathless by the mere anticipation of being flung into france and into grenouille's life. i want to see the story flex it's beauty and splashed on screen. i wait.

smell that? the fragrance of obssession.

[it's been 2 or 3 years since its preimere]

when the only thing i have to do tonight is read "Romeo and Juliet"

2009-06-24T22:41:00.003+08:00

-You-
First Name: Jewel
Nickname: Ju, Juju, Jooj, Joojie, Twinkle, Sparkle...and the stupid ones I refuse to name.
Name you wish you had: Uhh...Awesome? =D
What do people normally mistake your name as: Joo-what?
Birthday: 8 June
Single or taken: Single
Zodiac sign: Gemini

-Your Appearance-
How tall are you: ...short. Next.
Wish you were taller: HELL YEAH.
Eye color: Dark brown-black
Eye color you want: Green, or like hazel-ish?
Natural Hair color: Black la.
Hair color: BLACK. -.-
Short or long hair: Shoulder-length
Ever dye your hair a bizarre color: Not yet. But soon...hopefully.
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair: Hah!! When I snipped it short and rebonded. Epic WIN. I love my hair now...almost.
Glasses or contacts: 20/20 vision. Plzkthxbai.
Do you wear make-up: Only when necessary.
Ever had hair extensions: ...for???

-In the opposite gender-
What color eyes: Deep green, hee~ Sorry, Chinese boys... XD
What color hair: Uhh...hair la. Not blue/green/purple/pink/orange can adi.
Shy or Outgoing: Outgoing, definitely!!
Looks or personality: BOTH.
Sexy or Cute: Sexaaaaaay.
Serious or Fun: Balance. But more fun.
Older or Younger than you: Older. Duh.
A turn on: HOT BODS. XD [I'm a girl lah, k?]. MU fan forevaa!!
A turn off: Sexist/racist. Arsenal fan. -.-

-This or that-
Flowers or Chocolates: Both.
Pepsi or Coke: Sprite.
Rap or Rock: Classical.
Relationship or One night stand: How stupid is this question?
School or Work: School.
Love or Money: Currently... I need monies!!!
Movies or Music: Music.
Country or City: Country, I like. KL girl though.
Sunny or Rainy days: I liketh both.
Friends or Family: Shallow question. Next.

-Have you ever-
Lied: DUH.
Stole something: Stole and gave it back? ^^;
Smoked: No. Don't intend to.
Hurt someone close to you: Maybe?
Broke someone's heart: Maybe
Had your heart broken: Mhmm... DANNY MESSER!!!
Wondered what was wrong with you: Lol. All the time.
Wish you were a prince/princess: When I was 7, yeah.
Liked someone who was taken: ...might have. Can't remember.
Shaved your head: Someday.
Been in love: Yes... [falling asleep here]
Used chopsticks: Dude...Chinese girl here. Yoohoo?
Sang in the mirror to yourself: Again, yes.

-Favorites-
Flower: I like flowers. Orchids, lavenders, lilies...
Candy: CHOCOLATE *drooool*
Song: Uhh, takde.
Scent: Durian. Or fried chicken.
Color: Currently, red. For MU.
Movie: LOTR forevaaaaaaa baybehhh!!!
Singer: ...?
Word: ...?
Junk food: Chocolate.
Website: Kazeebo! For all your anime needs. XD
Location: The bed.
Animal: Ohh...spoilt for choice. Hee~
Ever cried over someone: Yes
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself: *rolls eyes* DUH.
Do you think you're attractive: I'm AWESOME. What took you so long to notice? [ss]
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose: Sleeping Beauty~ I love sleep.
Do you play any sports: Long time never d lor... but Frisbee, I guess.

The rules:
Link to your tagger and post these rules.
List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people

Facts:
1. I'm a girl.
2. I'm half-guy.
3. I love football.
4. I love sleep.
5. I love food.
6. I like Shah; he's brilliant!!!
7. OHH!! I'M OFFICIALLY LEGAL TO DRINK ALCOHOL.
8. ...AND GO CLUBBING.
9. ...AND DRIVE.
10. oh wait.. 8 only right? ^^;

Tags:
Whoever la. I don't care.

June Babies

2009-06-19T17:34:00.013+08:00

once upon a time, two little ditz-heads decided to take a little trip.

starring:

and...

OREO-CHEESECAKE DESU!!!
to 18 years and many more to come~
.
.
.

and here's the "lets camwhore" pose:

uhh...epic fail.

oh and guess whaaaaaat? we went to cinema to watch Blood: The Last Vampire (wtf?) and in the cup-holder, found identical movie tickets!! same seat, same movie, same number of tickets. different time. here, for SS reasons:

and to cap off our little outing after the movie:

guess who ate what? rm0.00 for the right answer.

happie birthday cerly~
we like so ROCK.
=D

2009-06-18T01:03:00.000+08:00

1am.

Tonight,

the master storyteller will rock me to sleep.

2009-06-10T17:18:00.003+08:00

Hush, dearest. Listen. Hear the calm flowing of river-water; hear the tinkling of trinkets on boughs; hear the gentle dance of the wind; hear the mysterious serenity of the forest. Breathe. Open your eyes. Welcome to the world, Lael ar-Lucianus.

Pic: http://evilwerido.deviantart.com

2009-05-31T22:45:00.002+08:00

Why won't you give love a chance?

Is this really love? Or has the word been used so widely that it's commonly excepted that a slight bippity-bop of the heart equals to love?

You're afraid.

I know it won't work out.

You're afraid that you'd get hurt. You've heard of countless stories where broken hearts never heal, and you tell yourself you never want that to happen to you. You want your first to be the one that lasts forever. You don't want to fall unnecessarily.

I'm not ready for this.

When will you ever be ready? How long more will you say "give me some time"? You're not ready only because you fear venturing out into the unknown. You're afraid of reaching out, touching it and experiencing it.

But why should I bother trying if I already know the end? Why should I play with fire when I know I'd get burnt? Why should I give love a chance when I know it won't happen?

Why don't you give love a chance? Why don't you prove what you "think", wrong? For all you know, it might not be as bad as you think it is. For all you know, it might last.

Really? Then what of all the warning signs flashing in my head? What do those signify? Are they merely empty cans making pointless noise? Everything happens for a reason. I know what might happen...

And what might happen? You don't know. You don't have the answer. And you cannot guess because you've never been in this situation. You'd never learn if you never try.

But why try?
.
.
.

Girl, you're going crazy.
I know.

2009-05-24T16:28:00.003+08:00

UNTITLED
-Juju-

01.
Oh the folly, the brashness
Of unimpeded youth--

02.
Silent, it comes;
Silent, it goes;
And in its wake
Leave an ambiguous thought
That cannot be reproduced
For lack of talent and ability
(Or perhaps, for want of political correctness;)
A flash of false hope, false ideals
That can be nothing more than what it already is.
Illicit,
It falls into a galaxy of cold storage
And there bide its time
Until the next fool yields to its lure...
And then
The story is his to tell.

03.
Ah, I shall elaborate,
When next I can make sense
Of this kaleidoscope.
.
.
.

TIDBITS
-Juju-

Hum a little happy tune and dance through the forest with the wind in your hair and the sun in your eyes; fall into my arms and hear me whisper how much I love you; then skip away with your hands behind your back, lean forward and tease, "Ask my daddy!"

I'll cross my arms and huff and pretend that I'm angry, then you'd come up to me, pinch my cheeks and ruffle my hair and I'd scoop you up into my arms, hearing you squeal, and then spin you round and round 'til you're dizzy with delight; then we'd fall onto the autumn leaves, lay down and laugh.

I smell romance in the air.

But I'd awake from this dream.

2009-05-21T21:54:00.003+08:00

the sun smiles and the wind dances,

but this heart of ice freezes over--

quit playing games with my heart.

image: http://booberryeyes.deviantart.com

2009-05-16T01:22:00.001+08:00

getting all emo-ish again

maybe next time

i just shouldn't talk about it

or raise it up

or anything

yeah

it still hurts

i wish it was easier

accumulation of stuffs

2009-05-11T14:26:00.007+08:00

[edit:]
Can't break free from the things that you do,
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you

[edit: i wonder what happened to Ah Pa's Kitchen]

1. 10 hours of sleep = happy
2. two bowls of rice = full and happy
3. chocolate ice cream = full and happy happy
4. anime and movies = happily satisfied
5. books and books = happily happily unsatisfied
6. ...uhh? mhmm. yeah. that's about it.

-x-x-x-

~~1. wanna go watch x-men origins: wolverine~~
~~2. wanna go shopping~~
3. wanna get a haircut
~~4. wants supernatural next episode to be out FAST~~
5. wanna meet up with sher and san soon

2009-05-08T16:25:00.002+08:00

FINALLY!!!

3 weeks of rehearsals are over. The performance is over. The stress and mm song-ness is over. The injuries and sicknesses are over. The late hours cramming assignments is over. Half the sem is over.

ON HOLIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

sleep. eat. shop. read. draw. write.

HYPERVENTILATE

and then do assignments.

2009-05-05T01:01:00.005+08:00

-WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE-

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
.

Nothing can begin to describe how wonderful the ridiculous rehearsals are.
Some things are not worth remembering; some things are better off forgotten.
A waste of precious time and saliva.
Tell the oversensitive people to tell the insensitive people...what??
So confusing.
.

To quote Shawn:
Life is so troublesome.

2009-05-02T10:18:00.002+08:00

i'm confused--
this whole love-infatuation boy-girl-relationship thing,
the whole "love is a feeling" thing;
i wonder...
.

isn't love partly "mental" too?
i mean--
a girl can see a cute guy and repeat to herself "ohemgee, he's so cute!" and eventually "fall in love";
likewise
a girl can see a cute guy but repeat to herself "no, i don't like him" and eventually not like him.
wouldn't this be infatuation?
yeaaah...infatuation...
.

i don't know what i'm talking about...
to quote gabby:
"why you so confused wan?"

2009-04-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

so dead tired

i will survive

yeah! yeaaah!

For You, I Will...even tho' I've done this before

2009-04-26T18:34:00.003+08:00

1. The person who tagged you is: Sher-sher/Usher

2. Your relationship with her is: Best friends since std.6/12yrs young

3. Your first impression of her is: Honestly? I didn't have first impressions then. Never really thought about it.

4. The most memorable moments with her: Hahaha! Should I even get started? Hm...there was the one at Langkawi in std.6, the stupid fight-prank thing we pulled on San, Honest Days, and generally every other random thing we did. OH OH!!! The very first time we found out we're both writers! =D

5. The most memorable thing she said to you is: HOI!!!

6. If she becomes your lover, you will: uhh...make sure she doesn't become my lover?

7. If she became your lover, what would she have to improve at: grammar and sentence structures. XD

8. If she becomes your enemy, what will you do: make her laugh and FORCE her to become BFF's again. Lol. See, Sher? This is how much I *HEART* you.

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be: uhhh... I call her fat? XD No laa...

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her now is: go out and treat her to an expensive lunch and make sure she finishes her food or I'll force feed her. =D

11. Your overall impression of her: let's not talk impressions since we know each other long enough. But if you mean, what I think of her, I think she's pretty and cute and smart and loving and smart and smart and misses me and thinks I'm hot and...smart. =D

2009-04-22T22:18:00.001+08:00

how do you balance

"my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit"

and

"my body as an acting instrument"?

how far is too far?

what are the limits?

question my belief and value system?

i have work to do.